Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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