Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Pants are for mortals
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
