The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
