So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
