Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
