im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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