he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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