if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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