haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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