need another drink. this is the easiest way
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
