So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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