This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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