Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize