he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You can't special order awesome
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wish i was in the wii world.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
