i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
