Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
