I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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