ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
