Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
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