My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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