I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
