Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
how does that bad decision feel?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
