There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
