i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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