where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
