remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
