I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
