ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
