dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Randomize
