Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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