I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
