Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
