he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
