I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
