So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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