I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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