Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
