I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
