just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just found a bag of teeth...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
