but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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