One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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