Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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