whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I am mentally ready for anal.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
