His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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