Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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