yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
