I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
try to milk me bitch
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