I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
