i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
