I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
