I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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