Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize