I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
