She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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