You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
