Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
