So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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