i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
