im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
