And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize