roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
