yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
