We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
