he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
