i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
