I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
